The mustache can be a thing of great elegance, though they’re no easy feat. Indeed, they’re one the hardest tricks to pull off in male grooming. Many have tried and failed to master this most masculine of arts – and it is with great pleasure, and distaste, that we present these seven celebrity mustache scandals below:
- Jared Leto
Academy-award winning actor Jared Leto is a man of many talents: he has directed documentaries, and of course, he fronts the platinum-certified rock band Thirty Seconds to Mars. All that, however, may be forgotten in the blink of an eye when contemplating the abhorrent scandal which is this ultra-hipster mustache. Look at how low it hangs down at the sides! Nauseous.
- Joaquin Phoenix
Yes, it was for a film. Yes, the film was quite good. Yes, we are generally forgiving when it comes to actors of such obvious pedigree. But! Regardless of where the blame may lie, this particular Tom Selleck impression deserves a severe chastising. It’s an abomination. This is supposed to be an emotionally sensitive guy, in the future no less, so what’s with the obstinately 1970s tash?
- Daniel Craig
Ok, so what do we have here? Nineteenth century industrialist throwback style? If there’s anyone who could pull this off, you would have thought it was Daniel Craig – but actually, having stared at this one long and hard, not even James Bond can justify this shoe brush. Those bristles look sharp enough to draw blood!
- Vince Vaughn
There’s something in the craftsmanship that has gone into this mustache that makes it even more disturbing. That space between the sideburn and the offending clump of hair which reaches below his bottom lip. This ‘tache didn’t just form of its own accord, it was designed by the hands of Man. Specifically, this man. Vince Vaughn. And we should never let him forget that.
- Michael Cera
Oh Michael, so youthful, sweet, inno… wait, what the hell is that hideous monstrosity germinating above your lip? And what makes it worse is that faint whisper of beard stubble on the crest of the chin. From top to bottom this is just a complete disaster, and the hat isn’t helping much either. If it’s any consolation, it seems to have just been a phase.
- Justin Bieber
It’s not so much a terrible mustache as a terrible lack of mustache, and as such, may rank among the worst “mustache fails” of modern times, especially as this particular photo was posted to Instagram by the Bieb himself, for the whole world to see. What were you thinking, Justin??? So lame.
- Mel Gibson
This is an unspeakably offensive mustache and brings shame upon all of us. The color gradation between goatee and fringe, the up-twist on the handlebars, the slight tufts of grey mutton chop on the sides. It’s all terrible. But the way the hair seems to actually be dripping out of his nose and running down his top lip… The horror!
